Research continues in the vital field of descriptive poetic sociology, people, and my army of assistants labors ceaselessly in the fourth sub-basement of the secret backyard writing dojo. Below find a compilation of current research results: a provisional and partial descriptive vocabulary for life on the slopes of the American Parnassus!
Bestseller: A poetry book purchased by at least one person neither related to, nor a former student of, the poet in question. The existence of bestsellers has yet to be verified.
Censorship: Something that happens to poets in other countries. American poets are protected by the constitution and widespread public indifference.
Close Reading: An event at which one performs one's poems in a venue the size of a phone booth.
Impoetence: Writer's block. A failure to rise to the occasion.
Metafore: The act of trying to convince a more prestigious poet that the two of you have met on a prior occasion.
Multiclutchural Poet: One who tries desperately to find a Native American, African-American, or Latino ancestor. Mid-career name changes may be involved.
Reversifier: A poet who tries to write in meter but gets it backwards. A New Formalist.
Many thanks to R.S. Gwynn, Paul Bond, T.R. Hummer and Michael Anania for their valuable research in cataloging these terms.